Blog Tales

Ninth Holy Night 2007-2008 ~ Order & Chaos

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It's pouring rain today...
the biggest storm of the year, they say,
to hit the West Coast of the Americas...

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And day Nine was yesterday...
Order & Chaos...
So... I've had a bit of time to think about these two...

For quite some time after my first marriage and a very solid way of life ended for me in my late twenties, I clung to order like a person who can't swim out in the middle of a vast ocean holding on to a small plank of wood... I needed structure and order in all areas of my life... the slightest whiff of chaos could send me careening over what seemed to be the ocean turned into Niagara Falls... When I entered my forties, I flipped the other way... structure and order made me crazy, I felt as if I would burst from my skin and could not make a commitment to hardly anything...

As I near being on this planet for fifty years, I am finding a balance between order and chaos, and even question my concept of just what chaos might really be...

This was one of the tasks offered by Lynn...

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She invited us to make a list of 25 verbs, place them on slips of paper, torn or cut (and to notice how we did those slips!) and place them in a bowl/chalice.

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and then pull three and apply them to a routine in our lives... I realized as I did this task that other than sleeping, there are very few routines in my life! So, I changed it a bit. I pulled five verbs (on "torn" pieces of paper!) and will make a poem, right now out of words that seem to have no connection or order at all...

Flap my arms
Float
Turn around
Type
Laugh

This rain pours...
I flap my arms
as if I can fly
when instead I must float
allow myself to turn around
and let this wet,
wet river flowing carry me
even as I type...
and type...
and type as if these words were
a life raft,
I laugh
that I might think I could
hold on to any one of them...

Ninth Holy Night of Inner Christmas
with Lynn Jericho

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Lynn's Blog on the Twelve Holy Nights of Inner Christmas