haiku my heart ~ The Holiness of Motherhood

You ask me about motherhood,
and it takes more than seventeen syllables today…
For here I am,
barren, no children from my womb,
widowed, no husband at my side,
my mother, out in the world
finding herself for the first time
before she steps from this world into the next,
having given me the ultimate gift of
her love and my life...
and I find myself undone,
between worlds…
I seem to seek out slots for myself
that do not fit into the norm
of the world I live in.
I feel alien,
completely and utterly bereft of any kind of anchor
and I so much want to be a part of this earth
beneath my aging feet,
slipping off this suit of my youth,
wriggling into a skin that does not fit
the maid who dances
forever in my heart…
Don’t tell me to seek solace
from the all-great mother,
for she is this pain in me that has no voice,
this wail of loss that winds throughout all time of mothers
broken from war and grief,
from loving from a heart broken so many times,
patched together to shine
and break
again and again…
How I wish I had a simple haiku
to whisper the holiness of being a mother…


For more Friday haiku my heart
and this special twelve days of honoring mother-love
please visit Rebecca and other poets
at recuerda mi corazon

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